


All the Way

by stillusesapencil



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 10:30:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9718916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillusesapencil/pseuds/stillusesapencil
Summary: "He tries not to feel guilty, but he knows that’s impossible. Cassian Andor has done many unsavory things in the name of the Rebellion. He feels guilty for all of them."My gift for the rebelcaptain valentine exchange! Prompt: au where Cassian is ordered to take out Jyn too





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [santiagone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/santiagone/gifts).



“Forget what you heard in there. If you find Galen Erso, you’re to kill him. And then you kill her, too.”

Cassian opens his mouth to ask why, then shuts it and nods. He knows better, by now, than to question orders. He gives Draven a nod, and goes to his ship. 

On the ship, Jyn has a gun. Cassian suspects she stole it, and most likely from him, but Trust goes both ways. Fine. He’s going to trust her. And her trust in him is unwarranted. He tries not to feel guilty, but he knows that’s impossible. Cassian Andor has done many unsavory things in the name of the Rebellion. He feels guilty for all of them.

Once on Jedha, he walks the streets with Jyn by his side. He knows not to do this, not to get attached. Once he’s attached, it’s so much harder to kill them. 

She runs through the battle to save a child, without a second thought. Without considering the consequences on her own life, she saves a little girl. She gets trapped behind a tank, and Saw Gerrera’s minion is going to throw the bomb and kill her. He doesn’t think before he fires. He saves her life, and thinks, _Dammit, Cassian, you could have let them do your job for you and had no guilt._ But then Jyn looks at him and he thinks, _no. No. If she has to die, let it be by my hand, on my terms._

He made his choice. 

He makes it again only a few moments later when Jedha starts caving into itself and he comes back for her. _I could go. I could leave her and go and she’d die and I wouldn’t have to do it._ She looks so startled, when he takes her hand and yanks her all the way back to the ship.

They crash land on Eadu and he takes only Bodhi with him. He’s going to kill Galen Erso. If he kills the father, perhaps killing the daughter will be easier. _Lies. It’s all lies._ He’s lying to her, why not to himself?

Laying on the rock, he and Bodhi watch the scene unfolding on the landing pad. Krennic is there, accusing Erso of something. 

“Go back to the ship,” he says to Bodhi.

“You said we were just going to have a look.”

“I’m looking. Go.”

Bodhi leaves.

He looks through the scope again. He nearly has a clear line, and his finger tightens on the trigger. 

Galen turns, and he catches a glimpse of his eyes. Jyn’s eyes.

With a grunt, he pushes his gun to the side. He cannot kill the man who has Jyn’s eyes.   
He won’t be able to kill her, either. The prospect is terrifying, but he now knows what he has to do. Step one, get them all back safely, and keep Jyn from dying on the way.

When Alliance comes out of nowhere, he rescues Jyn from the battlefield. He is too late to save Galen, but he comes back for Jyn again, and damn the consequences.

Once back on the ship, Jyn begins accusing him. “Were you going to kill my father?”

“You’re in shock. I’ve seen it before.”

“You were going to murder my father.”

“You’re in shock.”

“You can’t talk your way out of this one.”

“I have been in this fight since I was six years old. Not all of us have the luxury of deciding when and where to care about something.” The words sound hollow in his own ears. He didn’t choose to care for her, but he does.

She falls silent, and he goes to the cockpit. Kaytoo says, “Cassian, your pulse is elevated.”

He says nothing in response.

“This indicates fear, excitement, anger, or arousal. May I assume that in the case of Jyn Erso, it is all of them?”

He still says nothing.

“Cassian, I do not understand.”

“You don’t need to understand.”

“I think I do,” Kaytoo grumbles.

They land on Yavin IV long before Cassian is ready. He grabs Jyn’s shoulder as she’s about to leave the ship. “You can’t be seen. These people here, they want you dead.”

“So do a lot of people.”

“No, Jyn. You don’t understand. They’ll kill you on sight.”

“Are you trying to protect me?”

“I’m trying not to let you die!”

“Why?”

“Because…because I didn’t mean to care for something. But I do.”

She inhales, looks into his eyes and reads his face. The space between their faces is heavy with unsaid things. _I care about you. Do you care about me?_

Finally, she says, “I’m not used to people sticking around when things go bad.”

A warm feeling in his belly, he says, “Welcome home.”

She gives him a nod, and turns to the cargo bay.

He takes a deep breath and prepares to lie to his superiors.

Draven snags him almost immediately, pulls him to a briefing table. “Did you kill her?”

Cassian looks him in the eye. He has lied before. He will lie again. “Yes. She and her father were killed in the Alliance attack on Eadu.”

Behind him, Kaytoo turns his head to look at him. 

Cassian feels his hand twitch under the table.

“Do you have proof?”

“No. Both bodies of Galen and Jyn Erso were eliminated in the Alliance crossfire.”

“And the pilot?”

“He’s being briefed by Mothma as we speak.”

“Very good. And the Jedi and guardian you picked up?”

“Refugees from Jedha. They want to join the rebellion.”

“Very well. We will outfit them properly. Dismissed, Andor.”

“Thank you, sir.” Cassian doesn’t let out his breath until his is out of the room and down the hall.

“Cassian,” Kaytoo says. 

“What?”

“You lied to General Draven.”

“Yes.”

“Why did you lie to your superior officer?”

“Is it really that important?”

“Yes Cassian, I do not understand how you can lie to someone in charge of you.”

Cassian stops in his tracks and turns back to Kaytoo. “Because I’m going rogue. For Jyn. And if you think you can’t keep that secret, you can leave me right now.”

“Why would I leave you, Cassian?”

Cassian blinks at the robot. “Very good.” He continues marching down the corridor, back to the ship where Jyn is hiding.

Just as he rounds the corner to the hanger, Bodhi crashes directly into his chest. “Cassian!”

“Bodhi!”

“They’re going to try and take out the death star.”

“How did they reach any form of agreement?”

“Mothma and Bail Organa became powerful voices. It took them a long time.”

“Any group of politicians trying to reach any conclusion is going to take a long time.” Cassian edges his way around Bodhi, focused on getting to Jyn.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m getting Jyn out of here. They want her dead.”

“Then I’m coming with you.” He starts after Cassian.

Cassian stops him, looking directly in his eyes. “No. Bodhi, you are a pilot. You can help them.”

Bodhi searches his face, then nods. “You’re going to leave.”

Cassian nods. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

Bodhi grasps his shoulders. “All the speed of the stars to you.” 

Cassian dips his head in acknowledgement. “Thank you. And the same to you.” They pause only a moment before Bodhi hugs him, and Cassian returns the gesture. 

Behind them, Kaytoo says, “Are we going or not?”

Cassian shakes his head, gives Bodhi a final pat on the shoulder, and heads to his ship. 

Once inside, he closes the door and starts preparing for take off. “Jyn?”

There’s a small noise from the cargo bay, and she emerges, looking wary. But she always looks wary. “Are we leaving?”

“Yes.”

She nods, looks him in the eyes. “Thank you.”

They orbit each other a moment longer, and then Kaytoo says, “Are you going to complete the human mating ritual now? If so, I can leave to give you some privacy.”

They spring apart, and Cassian glares at Kaytoo. To his surprise, Jyn meets his eyes when he looks back at her, and there might even be a hint of a smile on her face. He feels a smile spread across his face in response. 

“Are you ready to go?”

She nods. 

He leads her to the cockpit, a warm feeling in his belly. There’s a whole future ahead of them, perhaps not in the rebellion, but together. It might not be peaceful, and it might not be perfect, but it will be theirs. 

He knows the moment they try to take off, someone will try and stop them. They prep the engine, and just before they take off, he turns to her and says, “Are you with me?”

And she says, “All the way."


End file.
